Last week I had a conversation with a childhood friend, Tony Burns. We grew up in some of the roughest neighborhoods in Chicago where one could get weapons and drugs faster than they could purchase an apple. Tony said to me, “You and I didn't have older brothers so we had to figure out how to navigate the neighborhood on our own.” We agreed that we both were gifted with good decision making skills and our comrades who did not have good decision making skills or positive older brothers to help them make good decisions are either dead, in prison or in Tony's words, “Strung out on drugs.”
The conversation made me think about the role I played in my younger brother’s life. Forty-three years ago I graduated from undergraduate school with a degree in social work and was hired to be a young drug counselor of teenagers in the community where Tony and I grew up. I formed a basketball team for youth at the agency as an alternative to drug use. My youngest brother was a teen at the time, he was gang affiliated and smoked marijuana daily. I invited him to join the team and he spent almost all of his leisure time traveling with me, his older brother and the team. This gave him less time to participate in gang activity and get high. He graduated high school that year and joined the Navy. I sat on the porch as the Naval recruiter showed up to drive my brother to boot camp. I breathed a sigh of relief as I watched my brother start a new life.
I listened to a recent podcast where Hall of Fame basketball player, Isiah Thomas talked about what his older brothers meant to him. Thomas said that several of his older brothers were great basketball players but their careers were cut short because of their use of heroin. They admonished him to never use the drug. He listened to his older brothers!
How can we help youth in high risk situations who due to birth order, do not have positive older brothers to help them make good decisions? Here are a few suggestions.
Develop a mentorship program.
Rally the extended family by encouraging positive aunts and uncles to be involved in their nieces and nephews lives.
Encourage sports. This can provide a sense of belonging and good coaches can serve as mentors and role models.
Teach consequential and critical thinking as a part of prevention programming.